Zeus and I followed our usual routine this morning. After making myself a cup of coffee, I took him out for his morning pee and patrol around the perimeter of the yard. Everything was more or less as he had left it the night before. He detected no evidence any of the neighbourhood cats had invaded his territory. However, he did take notice of the robins tapping their feet on the metal roof covering the patio and exchange pleasantries with the squirrel in the corner pine tree.
After returning to our bedroom I sat down at the computer to check the morning news. This morning Zeus sat down next to me, watching as I looked anxiously over the reports of the continuing debt ceiling stalemate in Washington. After a minute or two of this he let out a little growl indicating his displeasure at something.
“What is it boy?” I asked, patting his head reassuringly.
“I don’t understand it” he replied. I wasn’t too taken back. Zeus often talks. This morning was only unusual because his voice was so clear.
“What don’t you understand?” I asked, now stroking his head to provide additional comfort.
“Why all this fuss about money? America is loaded with money.” He looked not just puzzled, but genuinely troubled.
“Well, if Congress allows the US to default then the dollar will fall in value, interest rates will go up…” He lifted his paw and set it on my leg to cut me off.
“Yea, yea. I’ve heard you talking to mom and others about all that. But we’re talking about paper here - or more likely numbers in a computer at a bank somewhere. Every dollar on Earth your species created and you can make trillions more in less time than it takes me to finish breakfast, and yet everyone seems worried you’re going to run out.”
“True” I replied. “But if we just make more some people are worried that could lead to inflation.” Zeus has never been able to roll his eyes, but he can glaze them into a particularly disinterested gaze at a moment’s notice - and he did. I’ve never been good at explaining macroeconomics, least of all to a species whose biggest concerns are food and the location of their ball.
“Don’t insult my intelligence,” he said as if reading my mind.
“I wasn’t”
“Yes you were.” He paused and tilted his head. “Let me ask you another question. If a giant asteroid was discovered that was going to slam right into the planet in a few years wiping out everything but a few bacteria and, perhaps, some lucky insects here and there would anyone be arguing against raising the debt ceiling to $50 trillion if necessary to finance the research, space ships and missiles needed to blow it into a million pieces or send it hurtling harmlessly past the planet?”
I looked at him for a long time, not sure what to say. Asteroid, eh? He must have been reading over my shoulder when I was logged on to the ScienceDaily website too.
“Well, would they?” he asked emphatically, raising his foot into the air and quickly thumping it back down on the ground.
“No. At least I’d like to think they wouldn’t.”
“Okay. Well just in this country you’ve got millions of people struggling to feed their families and living without health insurance. Outside your borders there are at least 2 billion more living on barely a dollar a day. You’ve wiped out God knows how many animals, plants and insects, and the climate is changing faster than most of us can keep up.” He placed his paw on his chest to show solidarity with his cousins in the animal kingdom. “Practically speaking, the asteroid is pretty damn close I’d say.” He let out a low “grrrr” as he finished, as if trying to scare away the looming threat he saw coming. That’s the most a dog can do under the circumstances I suppose.
As he turned to walk away he threw his head over his shoulder and tossed out one final thought. "As far as I can tell debt and taxes aren't the problem. The problem is you Homo sapiens foul everybody's nest, including your own, and then argue the cost of clean-up is the problem.” With that he flopped down on his blanket and began gnawing contentedly on a bone.
‘We never should’ve named him after a god’ I thought shaking my head before returning my attention to the computer. Then mumbling under my breath “I wonder what Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry have been saying these days” I typed in the address to The Huffington Post.
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